The weak week
It's been a rough week, but it started off so well.
I was excited to go out riding, saw the Olympic Mountains as I rode down the street to the Pacific Ocean (which I haven't touched yet, I'm told it's very cold this time of year). I did 30/15s which hurt quite a bit, but I went straight home after. My ride ended up being just under an hour, I had intentions of going on a second ride with Oli and Aidan, that didn't end up happening.
Wednesday I decided I wanted to do more intervals, so I went to Mount Doug with a quick stop at Mount Tolmie to open the legs up a bit. This was my second time riding Mount Doug, and I managed to ride the whole way up without stopping. I did four intervals, speeding up as I went, but as I was coming back down after the fourth interval something clicked and I decided that I don't want to do more intervals. I thought I'd ride the waterfront to downtown and then back home but ended up taking a slightly more direct route, still a fairly successful ride though, my legs felt good.
Thursday I was feeling better again. Oli left the house before I was awake, leaving Aidan, Sidney, and I to start our rides at 11. I went up Mount Doug, around Elk Lake (where I did the swim and run of my half ironman), up Observatory hill all the way to the observatory, and then took a loop around prospect lake before meeting everybody at Broad Street Cycles. The plan was an hour-long out and back Hammerfestfest, but I couldn't kick it with the group who was there, I ended up getting popped off on the out AND the back, although I was slightly let down, getting dropped just means I've pushed myself to the limit, that's what training is for. I did one block of 30/15s (a third of a session) and spun home with Oli who I conveniently saw on the waterfront.
Fridays are still rest days, so the excitement came from an easter egg hunt that I'd set up for Oli with some (a lot) of assistance from Sidney. He'd asked for an easter egg hunt, but with Trail mix, before he left for 50 days on a training camp and I think a race. I'm not entirely sure what all he's doing, I just know I'm excited for him to come back and he really wanted trail mix. I'm not sure why but that night I got really sad. I went to bed crying for reasons unknown to me. My best guess is that I've been putting myself through a lot between moving and trying to find a job and trying to make new friends and learning a new city, oh and the training volume. Whatever it was, I wasn't feeling good.
Saturday I woke up feeling not a whole lot better, but my legs were as well rested as I could expect them to be, so I went out on the Oak Bay ride yet again. On the way out I used every stop sign and swelling of the group to position myself such that I wouldn't have to be on the front at all. On the way back it's much racier, but you're still expected to pull through. I employed similar tactics, sometimes simply refusing to pull through, not because I felt week, but because I didn't feel like working. That said, I was on the front for the last stretch before Panorama, a hill that's kinda steep for a bit, false flat for a while, and then kinda steep for a bit. I set a decent pace going on the road leading up to it and dropped a couple people on the first steep bit before sitting up. Someone else attacked on the second steep bit, making the pointy end of the ride two groups of four, eventually turning into one group of eight. I returned to mostly just sitting in. I wasn't feeling very good. I managed to get dropped after the final sprint somehow, so I put on some music and just rode the waterfront. I didn't know what I was feeling, but I knew I'd rather feel it on my bike. At some point Aidan texted me asking if I was ok (he knew something was up the night before), and I decided to go home.
Sunday I was feeling a bit better, weekends are for the long rides so I made plans to meet Sidney after her ride and go home together. I started with Mount Doug, it was hard to get up. I continued north to some other Mount that Oli had recommended. It finishes with a gravel stretch. I took the road part slow, feeling better and feeling good are very different from each other. The gravel stretch is a different story. I had to ride out of the saddle because it's so steep but I struggled to get traction and had to take a rest despite the gravel only being about 500 meters long. I started to break down again, at least I had a nice view. I tried to stay motivated on the way to Willis Point Road. I had planned to ride the north side once before meeting Sidney. On the way up the east side, I was feeling good, flooded with memories of the half ironman, but I wasn't making good time so I skipped the north side. While on Ross Durance (my current favourite road) I went back to my mental breakdown, still not knowing what was wrong, it was grey and the road was wet. Sidney texted me a couple minutes later that plans changed and she couldn't meet me anymore, I wasn't sure to be sad about finishing my ride alone or happy that Sidney wouldn't see me mid-breakdown. I opted for the latter. The last big climb of my ride was Bear Mountain. I wasn't motivated on the way up. I was on the verge of tears, it was worth it though. I did a small amount of trespassing through the construction of a new road as I descended into Langford, back into the sun. I wasn't feeling much better, and I'd bonked, but at least I wasn't crying anymore. When I got home I leaned my bike against the wall and collapsed on the floor, initially due to exhaustion, but I stayed there because I was sad and didn't want to get up. Eventually, Sidney offered to heat me up some food, I pulled myself into the kitchen and tried to make myself seem a bit happier, I'd like to think it worked.
Monday (the day of writing) was another rest day, I dropped off some resumes, filled out some forms, it wasn't very eventful. I had a decent talk with Mohammed, but in hindsight, I wish I would've told him what was going on. I didn't get coffee.
It's been quite the roller coaster, not just emotionally, but physically too. For the time being, I'm happy to assume all my issues are related to the increase in training volume and intensity. I'm at peace with the idea of crying and trying to be in touch with my emotions, I just need to get better at opening up to people who can help.
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| Mountains across the ocean |
I was excited to go out riding, saw the Olympic Mountains as I rode down the street to the Pacific Ocean (which I haven't touched yet, I'm told it's very cold this time of year). I did 30/15s which hurt quite a bit, but I went straight home after. My ride ended up being just under an hour, I had intentions of going on a second ride with Oli and Aidan, that didn't end up happening.
 |
| The bottom of Mount Doug |
Wednesday I decided I wanted to do more intervals, so I went to Mount Doug with a quick stop at Mount Tolmie to open the legs up a bit. This was my second time riding Mount Doug, and I managed to ride the whole way up without stopping. I did four intervals, speeding up as I went, but as I was coming back down after the fourth interval something clicked and I decided that I don't want to do more intervals. I thought I'd ride the waterfront to downtown and then back home but ended up taking a slightly more direct route, still a fairly successful ride though, my legs felt good.
 |
| Nice view from the observatory |
Thursday I was feeling better again. Oli left the house before I was awake, leaving Aidan, Sidney, and I to start our rides at 11. I went up Mount Doug, around Elk Lake (where I did the swim and run of my half ironman), up Observatory hill all the way to the observatory, and then took a loop around prospect lake before meeting everybody at Broad Street Cycles. The plan was an hour-long out and back Hammerfestfest, but I couldn't kick it with the group who was there, I ended up getting popped off on the out AND the back, although I was slightly let down, getting dropped just means I've pushed myself to the limit, that's what training is for. I did one block of 30/15s (a third of a session) and spun home with Oli who I conveniently saw on the waterfront.
Fridays are still rest days, so the excitement came from an easter egg hunt that I'd set up for Oli with some (a lot) of assistance from Sidney. He'd asked for an easter egg hunt, but with Trail mix, before he left for 50 days on a training camp and I think a race. I'm not entirely sure what all he's doing, I just know I'm excited for him to come back and he really wanted trail mix. I'm not sure why but that night I got really sad. I went to bed crying for reasons unknown to me. My best guess is that I've been putting myself through a lot between moving and trying to find a job and trying to make new friends and learning a new city, oh and the training volume. Whatever it was, I wasn't feeling good.
Saturday I woke up feeling not a whole lot better, but my legs were as well rested as I could expect them to be, so I went out on the Oak Bay ride yet again. On the way out I used every stop sign and swelling of the group to position myself such that I wouldn't have to be on the front at all. On the way back it's much racier, but you're still expected to pull through. I employed similar tactics, sometimes simply refusing to pull through, not because I felt week, but because I didn't feel like working. That said, I was on the front for the last stretch before Panorama, a hill that's kinda steep for a bit, false flat for a while, and then kinda steep for a bit. I set a decent pace going on the road leading up to it and dropped a couple people on the first steep bit before sitting up. Someone else attacked on the second steep bit, making the pointy end of the ride two groups of four, eventually turning into one group of eight. I returned to mostly just sitting in. I wasn't feeling very good. I managed to get dropped after the final sprint somehow, so I put on some music and just rode the waterfront. I didn't know what I was feeling, but I knew I'd rather feel it on my bike. At some point Aidan texted me asking if I was ok (he knew something was up the night before), and I decided to go home.
 |
| Being sad is a lot easier with a nice view |
Sunday I was feeling a bit better, weekends are for the long rides so I made plans to meet Sidney after her ride and go home together. I started with Mount Doug, it was hard to get up. I continued north to some other Mount that Oli had recommended. It finishes with a gravel stretch. I took the road part slow, feeling better and feeling good are very different from each other. The gravel stretch is a different story. I had to ride out of the saddle because it's so steep but I struggled to get traction and had to take a rest despite the gravel only being about 500 meters long. I started to break down again, at least I had a nice view. I tried to stay motivated on the way to Willis Point Road. I had planned to ride the north side once before meeting Sidney. On the way up the east side, I was feeling good, flooded with memories of the half ironman, but I wasn't making good time so I skipped the north side. While on Ross Durance (my current favourite road) I went back to my mental breakdown, still not knowing what was wrong, it was grey and the road was wet. Sidney texted me a couple minutes later that plans changed and she couldn't meet me anymore, I wasn't sure to be sad about finishing my ride alone or happy that Sidney wouldn't see me mid-breakdown. I opted for the latter. The last big climb of my ride was Bear Mountain. I wasn't motivated on the way up. I was on the verge of tears, it was worth it though. I did a small amount of trespassing through the construction of a new road as I descended into Langford, back into the sun. I wasn't feeling much better, and I'd bonked, but at least I wasn't crying anymore. When I got home I leaned my bike against the wall and collapsed on the floor, initially due to exhaustion, but I stayed there because I was sad and didn't want to get up. Eventually, Sidney offered to heat me up some food, I pulled myself into the kitchen and tried to make myself seem a bit happier, I'd like to think it worked.
Monday (the day of writing) was another rest day, I dropped off some resumes, filled out some forms, it wasn't very eventful. I had a decent talk with Mohammed, but in hindsight, I wish I would've told him what was going on. I didn't get coffee.
It's been quite the roller coaster, not just emotionally, but physically too. For the time being, I'm happy to assume all my issues are related to the increase in training volume and intensity. I'm at peace with the idea of crying and trying to be in touch with my emotions, I just need to get better at opening up to people who can help.
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